Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dropping Like Flies


It turns out that I was the last man standing this time. That is because Fortinbras is now sitting on Claudius's recently vacated throne. Things went bad very quickly during the duel, and not only are Hamlet and Laertes both dead, but the king is run through and the queen is dead from poisoning. I have never seen so many of the nobility drop dead so quickly. After Hamlet had made Laertes look like a fool in the first two bouts, the queen drank to Hamlet. Laertes became enraged and cut Hamlet, who tackled Laertes. Somehow, after they rolled around on the ground and struggled with each other, they managed to switch swords, and Hamlet slashed Laertes. Things really got crazy when the queen dropped dead from a poisoned drink. Laertes then confessed to Hamlet that he had plotted with the king to kill Hamlet with a poisoned sword, and that both he and Hamlet had been wounded by the sword. After learning this, Hamlet killed the king (finally) without any hesitation. After Laertes had asked for Hamlet's forgiveness and had forgiven him for Polonius's death, Laertes died. I cannot say that I was going to have to watch my best friend die today, but the poison worked quickly on Hamlet. I was ready to drink the poison that had ended the queen because of my own failure to stop this carnage, but with his last breath Hamlet begged me to spare my own life and to tell his story to anyone that wanted to know about what had happened to the royal family of Denmark. Then Hamlet was finally relieved of his suffering, and I hope his passage to the next world will be accompanied by the satisfaction that he succeeded in avenging his father. Luckily (I guess), I had the entire invading Norwegian army to listen as I told Hamlet's story, which I hope will adequately fulfill his last wish.

The Wager

When we had arrived back at Elsinore, Hamlet told me about the letters Claudius had sent with him on his forced voyage to England. The letters were orders for Hamlet's English recipients, whose meaning were basically "chop my nephew's head off, if you please". I cannot express in words how screwed up I think that is. Anyway, Hamlet turned the tables on his captors by taking the orders for his execution and converting them into orders for the executions of his captors, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. I thought that was screwed up in its own way, but Hamlet justified himself by saying that the two of them had brought it on themselves. But still, they are going to arrive in England with executioners' blades for their greeting. After I contemplated this disturbing prospect for a while, one of the king's habitual brown-nosers came and told Hamlet about the wager that he had been made an unwitting part of. We made fun of the courtier for a few minutes before the he left, at which time I told Hamlet that he was going to get his guts cut out of him by Laertes. Hamlet didn't seemed particularly concerned though, so we headed towards the throne room. The duel that the king wagered on is to take place shortly.

Hamlet's Back


Just as he said in his letter, Hamlet has returned to Denmark. I was there to meet him when his ship came into port in the dead of night. As we passed through the churchyard on the way back to Elsinore, we came across a man digging up some old bodies to make room for a new grave. Hamlet and I talked to the gravedigger for a little while before the gravedigger mentioned the identity of a skull he had found. It was the skull of one of the old king's jesters, and from what I could gather from Hamlet's impassioned reminisce about the skull, it was a jester of whom Hamlet was particularly fond. It wasn't long before the new tenant of the grave showed up, however, so Hamlet and I stood back to watch the strangely brief and unceremonious funeral. We learned from the conversations amongst Laertes, the king and the queen that it was Ophelia's burial. Shortly after the procession had lowered the casket into the grave, Laertes had jumped in after it to see his sister one more time. Hamlet was similarly moved, and stepped out of our hiding spot and loudly declared his love for Ophelia. I could not vouch for his state of mind at the moment, because I do not think that it was particularly wise of Hamlet to reveal himself to a man whose father he had recently killed. Hamlet and Laertes fought each other briefly before they were held apart, but Hamlet and I managed to get away, back to Elsinore. I do not know what the morning will bring, because Laertes was more than a little murderous towards Hamlet at the burial.

Letters From Hamlet


After the business with Ophelia, the king and Laertes retired to the king's chambers to discuss what had just happened. I don't know what they were talking about, but if I were Laertes, I don't think I would be all that talkative after seeing my sister like that. Earlier today, I was greeted by some sailors, who said they were to give a letter to someone by my name. The letter was from Hamlet, who wrote of how he managed to escape the ship bound for England by boarding a pirate ship that had attacked his vessel. Apparantley he and the pirates are returning to Denmark. The letter had instructions to take the sailors to the king. They said Hamlet had given them other letters to deliver.